Crashing Down
by Boaz Priestly
Summary: Travis questions his ability to cope when Lily pushes him too far.
1. Confusion

**A/N: Travis may seem out of chartacter as this story goes along. I just wanted to say that this is how I feel he would react if he were to be pushed to far. I'm not coping out and trying to mold his character into something that would be easier to write with.**

**Thank you Romolus, for being my beta for the moment, and always for being my Lil.**

_Just get off the stage_, she thought, and for some reason she couldn't get her legs to move. Fighting back the tears, she watched Ray walk away with his new-found love. He was definately in love, that much was obvious. If not, he would have came running back to her, confessing his true feelings as he left Grace behind. They would have embraced on stage in front of everyone, and all would be right with the world. Now, nothing was right in Lily's world. She had made an idiot of herself in front of hundreds of people. Couldn't she have been a little more suave about it? Hell no. When Lily Randall went out, she went out with a bang. It was the aftermath that she couldn't deal with.

She felt everyone's eyes on her. It felt as if the entire world could look into her soul and she couldn't get her damn feet to move. _Just get off the stage_, her mind repeated, now on loop. A familiar figure caught her eye and then, at least, she could remember how to turn her head. He looked up at her with his haunted eyes and she could see pain in them. She stared back down at him, knowing that he would be able to read the panic in her eyes. _Help me Travis. Save me,_ she pleaded silently.

He walked to the left of the stage and held a hand up, then gestured her to him. Finally. She began to move toward him as if her body had only been waiting for his signal all along. She laid her guitar down on the stage and followed the beautiful, haunted eyes. Parker was behind her, calling her name, but she couldn't answer. Hell, she was happy to have control of her physical body and she would not lose sight of her target. She reached the edge of the stage and took his hand gratefully before she jumped into the crowd, hoping to be swallowed up.

No words needed to be spoken as he guided her through the sea of people toward the exit. After an eternity, they were finally outside and she was free. Free to allow her broken heart to register in her mind. " Did he hear me?" she asked, her voice sounding strange to her as she apparently didn't have control over it yet. It pierced her own ears. " Did _you_ hear me?" Nice. Now she was making no sense and he would want to leave her to wallow in her own sorrow. Why wouldn't he? After all that she had put him through, why was he even here? And why did he have to look so fucking sympathetic and lost himself at the same time? _Damn you Travis. Damn everything to hell,_ she thought, wanting to hate something besides herself.

She threw her arms around him the second they were outside. Grabbing him tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder. She had grabbed a handful of the back of his shirt when she pulled him to her, now, she bunched the fabric up between her fingers. It somehow felt comforting.

"It's ok Lily," he whispered over and over in her ear " Let it go, Lily. Let it all go," he said as he tried to hold his own tears back. Neither of them knew how long they stood there. Neither of them cared anymore as they sought solace in one another's arms.

Lily pulled back first. " Take me home?" she pleaded, not sure if she would make it without breaking down if she had to go by herself. " Please Trav...," she began.

He stopped her by putting his forefinger to her lips. " I'll take you home," he assured her " I will take care of you," he said, suddenly very angry at Ray. So angry that the pain from Bridget's cutting words no longer touched him anymore.

She looked at him, feeling warmth from his concern and his words for her." I'm sorry," she said quietly.

" Sorry for what?" he asked, confused.

" Everything," she said simply as they walked along. "For everytime that I made you feel like this," she whispered, barely audible.

They walked to her house in silence. Though it was a comfortable silence she thought of all of the words she should have said. Ones that she should have said to both Ray and Travis. As he guided her to her door, she whispered, " I'm always there for you too, you know..."

He squeezed her hand " I know," he whispered back, then watched her as she disappeared into the house. Bridget's words came back to him as he turned to leave. He couldn't bear to see Lily in this much pain and deal with his own at the same time. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked away, determined to understand everything that had just happened before him. Determined to stop Lily's pain, even if he couldn't ease his own.


	2. Sorry

**Disclaimer: I do not own Travis, Lily, or anything relating to Radio Free Roscoe. I wish I did though...**

**A/N: I don't particularly like this chapter but I need it in here.**

It took some time, what seemed like an eternity to her, but Lily finally began to accept Ray and Grace's relationship. The kisses and looks of endearment still cut, but not as badly as they had in the beginning. She owed her sanity to Travis and was well aware of it. If he had not been there to fill the void in her life, she doubted that she would have been able to handle the situation.

What bothered her the most was the fact that she had convinced herself that Ray had heard her shout I love you the night she played at The WaterFactory. Even if he hadn't, there had been hundreds of other people that had and would have told him by now. He never said a word nor let on for a second that he had indeed heard her, but deep inside she knew the truth. It was the truth that kept her up at night. It kept her on the phone or at the station with Travis.

She glanced at Robbie and Ray and smiled as they gathered their things on their way out of the station one afternoon. It had been a few weeks since the incident on stage, but Lily had been feeling "out of sorts" lately. She sighed loudly and gave Travis a look. Actually, it was more her signal to him that she needed to talk. It was odd that she felt the need to keep their time alone together a secret, it wasn't as if Ray or Robbie would really care, she just did it. Perhaps it made her feel better that she had something of her own. She just didn't know how to label it exactly.

" I'll see you guys later," she smiled as she pretended to gather her things.

"See ya, Lil," Ray called over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

" I'll look for you two at Mickey's later okay?" Robbie said, following Ray. " The only time I see either of you is in here anymore."

" I'll try and make it," Travis responded as he put the equipment away " I have a few things to work on but I'll try and be by." Robbie nodded and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Now she could breathe a sigh of relief. She could be herself around Travis and he could help her work out the tension she had been feeling. Really, it felt more like loneliness than tension. " Thanks," she said quietly " I guess I'm just having a bad day and I need someone...I need you...To talk to," she blushed as she stuttered.

Travis walked out of the booth and took the empty seat beside her. " What's wrong Lily?" he asked, as he pushed a stray hair out of her face. He gave her a look of sincerity and she couldn't help but smile at him.

" I think it's just a case of nostalgia," she answered. " I miss the old days," she said as she looked up at him " I miss all of us being together."

" So, I'm not enough for you anymore?" he teased, resting his hand beside hers. She looked as if she had taken him seriously so he took her hand. " I'm sorry," he said " I've never been very good at lightening the mood have I?"

" You've done more for me than you'll ever know," she said in a serious tone " I love you for it, Travis. For just being you and for being there for me.

He knew that she didn't mean the words the way he wanted her to, and fought the feeling in his heart. " I love you too, Lil," he said a little too softly. He squeezed her hand " I will always love you and I am always here for you."

She basked in the warmth that she felt from him and cast a flirty glance at him. " Promise?" she asked as she looked at him from underneath her lashes. She felt her heart tighten as he looked at her.

" You know that I do," he answered, his voice smooth as always. They stopped and looked at one another for a moment. Her mind raced back to the first time that they kissed.

" Travis," she whispered as she leaned into him.

" No," he answered back with a hint of sadness in his voice. Too late. Her mouth had brushed his and he had allowed himself to kiss her.

She reveled in the feel of warmth and security, then he pulled back and met her eyes. " Did you mean that?" he asked. " He let out a breath and studied her face. " Please don't hurt me Lil, I don't want to hurt again."

She could see the hurt in his eyes and knew that she couldn't answer his question honestly. In fact, he was probably right, she was just trying to ease the pain. The pain that she wouldn't allow herself to accept was still there. " I'm sorry," she said quickly, no longer able to stand the look in his eyes. " Travis, I just...I don't know," she blurted out before she turned and hurried for the door. She paused before she opened it, not wanting to leave him. " I don't know," she repeated before finally running out.

He watched the door close and felt a part of him close with it. He just couldn't take anymore and wondered what he had done to deserve all of the hurt that he felt in his heart. " I just don't know anymore either, Lily," he said to the now closed door.


	3. Warmth

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews!**

Days went by without the kiss being mentioned. It seemed to Lily that Travis always had something more important to do than even look her way. Everything now felt awkward between them and she hated it. If she caught Travis' eye, he would immediately turn his attention elsewhere as if he hated the sight of her. She had picked up the phone to dial his number at least ten times a day. Wondering what exactly she would say to him always made her put the phone back down, then she would just stare at it. She stared at it and prayed that it would ring for her. It felt as if she had lost each of her best friends in just a matter of months. She missed them. She missed the warm feeling his kiss had given her.

Travis stayed as far away from Lily as possible. Not even daring to glance at her for long, because he knew that if he would have, the feelings would surface again and he would ache for her. He knew that he couldn't go through it again, that he wasn't as strong as he had thought he once was. He did his best to push all memories of any intimate contact with her away. Vowing that he would not let her dive so deeply into his heart again.

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He had been concentrating on working the soundboard and was glad that the show would be ending soon. He would be away from the familiar smell of the station, the sound of her voice and the flash of blonde hair that seemed to stay in his peripheral vision. He turned the equipment off, thinking about meeting up with Robbie at Mickey's.

" Travis," she said, shocking him out of his train of thought. " Would you stay behind and help me with this new idea I have about another song?" she asked simply, as if she were asking the time.

Damn her. " Yeah," he said, concentrating on the sound system as if he still had more work to do. " Sure, Lil, I can stay for a few minutes."

" When you become a superstar, don't forget your loyal fans," Ray smiled, as he gathered his things to leave. " The little people. Never forget the little people," he winked at her as he passed by on his way to the door.

" Don't worry, Ray," she smiled back, the curve of her mouth turning to a smirk " I will never forget." She slammed her headphones down and looked up at Robbie before Ray could open his mouth again " I'll catch up with you later, ok," she said. Robbie nodded and quickly headed for the door, as he sensed the tension.

" So, you need help Lily?" Travis asked as he came out of the booth and took Ray's vacant chair, safely away from Lily.

" Yes," she answered, her voice now taking on a hurt tone. " And you know what about. Travis...I"

" Don't," he said, " It never happened ok? Let's forget it."

"That is always your answer isn't it?" she said, now growing angry " Yes, Travis, let's make things simple and pretend the serious stuff never happens. Is that what Buddha says?"

His eyes narrowed and he spoke a little more harshly than he had intended " No, but Travis says to forget matters that cause everyone else pain ok? I don't want to relive the past."

"This is hardly reliving the past," she snapped back " In the past, we had Ray and Audrey to worry about. We don't now. Why don't we do what feels right to us? For once, make ourselves happy?"

_And you just hate that don't you? You would love to have Ray to worry about again._ Travis stood, tossing his back pack over his shoulder. " That is exactly what I'm doing," he said as he headed for the door.

" Wait," she cried out as she jumped up and caught him by the arm before he made his exit. " Can we not do this? Can we just forget the past and start over?" she said softly, her grip tightening on his arm.

_You weren't quick enough, Strong. Now, not only is she touching you again, but she is begging you, in that fucking soft sexy voice._ He turned to face her " What is it that you want Lily? Do you even know?"

" This," she said, pulling him to her, kissing him as softly and sweetly as before. It worked, she could feel the pain fade away instantly.

He felt defeated again as he kissed her back. _You should have left when you had the chance._ He dropped his back pack and pulled her tightly against him.


	4. Regret

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the characters in this story, so please don't sue me Brent and Co.**

Travis watched from a distance as Lily struggled with her books at her locker. He hadn't slept much the night before as he kept replaying the kiss that they had shared. A real one this time. One where Lily didn't run away afterward. She had looked into his eyes and told him again how much he really meant to her. Now, he took a moment to just look at her. He decided that she was adorable when she looked frustrated.

Lily tried to juggle the books she had in her hands as she reached for the math notebook that she had accidentally left inside of the locker. She sighed, feeling frustrated with everything that was going on in her life at the moment. She had stayed up most of the night worrying about what she has said to Travis. She kept thinking that she was moving too quickly. She was going to lose her own private escape, a place where nothing could hurt her and she could feel love. A place where she could just relax and forget the rest of the world. Now she couldn't reach the damn notebook without dropping the books in her arms onto the floor. She felt all of the harshness of reality and wanted to go back into her private world.

" You look like you could use some help," he said in a gentle tone and extended his hand to take her books for her.

" Travis," she said, putting on a smile and pretending that everything was normal. " I was just thinking about you," she said after she handed him the books in her hands. " Thanks," she smiled again, then reached inside her locker and pulled out the elusive notebook.

" I haven't stopped thinking about you," he said, feeling uncomfortable after the words came out. " I mean...I'm just glad that we don't have to hide our feelings anymore. It feels good to be able to just kiss you if I want and not have anyone else to worry about."

" Yeah," she answered " Well, I umm...," she stalled, not sure of what to say to him.

His face fell " Another mistake?" he asked with a hint of frustration in his voice.

" No," she answered quickly. " Well, yes," she said a little slower. She could see the hurt that she had caused him yet again and wanted to take the last two words back. " I just think we should hold off on letting everyone in on...us," she said, trying to choose her words carefully.

" Why?" he asked, clearing his throat " What are you afraid of Lily?"

" I'm not afraid," she said, and now felt as if she were being attacked. " Travis, I'm not sorry about what happened last night. I just don't want to rush things. I don't want to make a mistake that I will always regret.

" No," he confirmed " I don't either. I knew I should have stopped this," he said, taking a step back.

" I have feelings for you Travis," she said, her defensiveness now turning to shame and sadness. " I honestly do. I just don't want anyone else involved right now. I need time to think, to sort things out for myself," she looked down at her shoes, not wanting to see the look on his face.

" Why Lily?" he asked, exasperated. " Why is it that every time I think that we are getting somewhere, you back away?"

" Because that's what I do," she answered, gaining the strength to look at him again. " I act on my feelings, get confused, freak myself out, then run." She reached out and touched his cheek " I want this. I want you." She pulled her hand back. " I just want to be sure. I want things to be right this time," she whispered.

" Well, let me know when you're sure ok?" he said. His face still felt warm where she had touched it. " No pressure, Lily, but no more spending time alone until you do decide ok?" The words were hard for him to say but he knew that he had to say them, he couldn't handle a replay of their last "attempt" at romance.

" Are you angry with me, Travis?" she asked tentatively, her eyes focused on the floor again.

" No, I'm not angry," he answered, though he wasn't exactly sure what he felt anymore. " Let me walk you to class," he said as he took her arm. " Just take your time with the hard questions and remember that I am here for you ok? I will always be here."

Lily smiled and allowed herself to savor the warm feeling that always seemed to emulate from him. " When I figure myself out, you'll be the second person to know about it," she said playfully as they walked down the hallway.

" I'll see you later," he said after he handed her books back to her. He wanted to kiss her. At least a small kiss on her cheek, but she quickly disappeared into the classroom. He turned and walked away to his own class, deep in thought.

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The impact jostled him out of his thoughts and he turned to see what had just slammed into him as he heared a panicked apology. " Parker," he laughed " Are you ok?"

She looked back at him, feeling her face turning crimson " So sorry," she said " I...umm...I guess I just have my mind on things other than walking right now."

Travis smiled and extended his arm to steady her " Anything I can help with?" he asked.

_You had hundreds of people that you could have ran into but of course you had to pick him._ " No," she said quickly " I mean, nothing that you can help with." _Come on Parker, you can be a little more cryptic._ " I had a date. Had being the operative word here," she explained, sighing as she looked at the clock, now tardiness would be added to her troubles. " I was just set to go out tonight and this guy canceled on me. Not that I am serious about him or anything," she added " I just wanted to go out and have some fun without bothering Lily for the fifth Friday in a row."

" I could use some fun too," Travis said, thinking that an evening without Lily would be just the right thing for him too. And Parker was a fun person to be with. " Let's go somewhere together," he suggested, " Wherever you want," he smiled.

" Ok," she said, feeling flustered. " Maybe we can catch a movie or something?"

" Sounds good," he said. " I'll meet up with you later ok? We're going to be late." He smiled at her " Whoever he is, he's missing out," he said before he walked away.

Parker forced herself not to jump for joy right then and there.


	5. Strength

**A/N: This chapter is short but I'll get more out soon. Thanks to everyone for reading!**

Parker took her usual place beside Lily at lunch, a huge smile was still plastered on her face as she set her lunch tray down. "Do you really want that pudding cup?" she teased, eyeing Lily's dessert. " I need it, I have energy to burn today."

Lily look over at her, amused. " What's up with you," she asked, curious.

" Oh, I'm just in love," she said dismissively. " And I think he actually noticed me today." She measured her breathing to keep from screaming the words out.

" In love?" Lily asked " That happened fast. Who is he and what did he do?"

" Travis Strong and he asked me out," she said, trying to keep her cool but squealing as she finished the sentence.

" Really," Lily said, after she choked on her drink before regaining composure. " I didn't know that you were in love with Travis...And he's taking you out tonight?" she realized that the anger was coming through her voice, but at the moment, she was too upset to care.

" I'm sorry, Lil," Parker said quietly. " I didn't mean to leave you out but I didn't think you would want to hear me talking about another guy while...Well, while you were still hurting over Ray. _Which you obviously still are._

" It's okay," she shrugged. " I mean, I understand."_ Real nice Travis, you have some nerve. You tell me to take my time and that you will always be there for me and not fifteen minutes later, you're asking someone else out._ She fumed but she decided against telling Parker how she really felt. It wasn't like she was actually together with Travis and Parker just had to look so _happy_. " I _am_ happy for you and you know what, it's time for me to find a date of my own," she smiled.

Parker looked back at Lily " You right, you know, it's way past time to move on."

" I've got to go," she said to Parker " I just remembered a paper that I haven't finished for chem and it is supposed to be done after lunch today." She grabbed her things and slid her unfinshed pudding cup over to Parker " Finish that and I want to hear more about this date later ok?" she said as she hugged her friend briefly " And I mean every detail," she said before she backed up and hurried away.

Parker took the pudding cup and watched her friend leave. _I'm worried about you Randi. "_ I'll catch up with you later!" she called as she watched Lily walk out the door.

Lily didn't know whether she was angry or hurt as she walked quickly down the hallway. She didn't really have a destination in mind, she only knew that she couldn't sit there and listen to Parker rave about Travis. _Why her Travis? You could have at least stayed away from my friend._ " My best friend," she said aloud.

A voice behind her said " You know, it's not a good sign when you start talking to yourself." She turned to see River smirking at her.

_Could things get any worse?_ " No one else to talk to," she smiled and flipped her hair as she tried to sound nonchalant.

"Come here," he winked " I'll talk to you."

_Well now, things just might be looking up._ She sauntered over to him " And just what would you want to say?" she asked as she batted her lashes.

River kept the smirk on his face and Lily briefly wondered if she had ever seen him without it. " I would ask why a great looking girl like you would have to resort to talking to herself," he answered as his eyes did a quick once over her body.

" No one has time for this "great looking girl" anymore," she said, using her best pouty voice and sticking her lower lip out.

" You've found someone that will make time," he answered. " Why don't we go somewhere tonight? I'll show you how you should be treated.You've been hanging around the wrong type of people."

_No, **he **did not just ask me out._ " Ok," she answered, pretending not to care one way or the other. " I'd like to know how a girl like me _should_ be treated." She smiled inwardly as she gained the nerve to say " There's a movie that I have been dying to see. Want to take me?"

" I like a girl that knows exactly what she wants," he grinned. " Sure. Give me your address and I'll pick you up at seven?"

Lily smiled as she opened her notebook to write the directions down. She felt different somehow. Stronger.


	6. Surprise

**A/N: More tomorrow...I hope.**

After trying on at least ten different outfits, Lily opted for the first one she had tried on to begin with. She twirled in front of the mirror, admiring her new skirt. _Not bad,_ she thought as she twirled around and gave the mirror a wink. _I think I'll go with damn hot,_ she smiled, then tried out a seductive look. After she dabbed a little more lip gloss on, she was satisfied.

The doorbell rang at seven o clock sharp. Lily rushed down to greet River before her parents had a chance to get to the door. She had told them she would be staying at Parker's house for the night so she wouldn't have to go through any embarrassing date-meet-the-parents ordeal. Nor would she have to worry about an even more embarrassing curfew.

She opened the door quickly and walked out before River had a chance to invite himself in. "Let's go," she said " I don't want to be late."

" You're looking lovely tonight," he said with a twinkle in his eye as he took her hand and lead her to his car. "We're hardly late," he added and wondered why she seemed to be in such a hurry.

" I want to get a good seat," she said, as if that explained everything. "And thanks, you don't look bad yourself," she smiled, feeling as if nothing could stop her now. She couldn't wait for Travis to see her with her "date". It sure as hell beat his. She suddenly felt sick for the thoughts that had just ran through her mind. Parker was worth a million Rivers and she knew it.

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Cool air hit Lily's face as she walked inside the theater. She was grateful for it because she suddenly felt nervous. What if they didn't "run into" Parker and Travis? Then again, what if they did?

She didn't have to wonder long as she spotted them both waiting in line for popcorn. She turned to River, any doubts gone as she saw them together. " I'm thirsty," she said.

" Well, let's get the lady a drink," River answered as he took her hand and lead her to the concession stand.

" Parker?" Lily called in an unsure voice. Parker turned and Lily put on a fake smile " It is you!" she exclaimed. " And Travis. What a surprise," she said, hoping that Parker wouldn't say anything about the fact that Lily already knew they would be there.

" Lily," Parker smiled back "And..River Pierce?" she added genuinely confused.

" Hey Lil...," Travis started but trailed off as he noticed River. They looked odd together, and he felt like there was a big joke being played on him. Lily would burst out laughing any second now and roll her eyes. She would ask him if he really had believed that she was with River. Travis waited but Lily never laughed. In fact, he could see anger flashing in her eyes when she spoke to him.

Lily smiled to herself, knowing that she had caught Travis off guard. She didn't know if he was surprised to see her with someone else or if he hadn't planned on getting caught. Either way, she was enjoying herself.

Parker felt nervous, though she wasn't quite sure what was bothering her the most. She was finally alone with Travis, but seeing Lily with River just didn't seem right. She hated River and hated the way that he looked at Lily. " Let's go get our seats," she said to Travis. " This line is so long and I don't want to miss the trailers."

" That's fine with me," Travis answered, clearing his throat. " It was nice to see you Lily," he said, forcing the words out. " You too, River."

Yes," River said, obviously disinterested. " Why don't you two go have some fun." He pulled Lily to his side " I'm sure that we will."

Travis stopped the glare before it reached his eyes " You go do that," he said but looked at Lily instead of River. He took Parker's arm and began to walk away with her.

" I'll talk to you later, Randi," Parker said in a serious tone that was very unlike her. The comfort of Travis by her side almost took the anger and shock away but not quite.

" You never know who you're going to run in to," Lily smiled after Travis and Parker are out of sight.

" I guess not," River replied. " I'm just glad that they didn't ask us to sit with them," he said as if it would be the worst thing in the world.


	7. Jealousy

**A/N: River may seem out of character but this is how the show portrayed him until the final episodes.**

" Are you alright?" Parker asked Travis after neither of them had said a word for five minutes. They sat and stared at the white screen in front of them; the lights hadn't even dimmed yet.

" I'm fine," he answered. " And I apologize, I must be the worst date you've ever had," he said jokingly.

" No," Parker said " The worst date I've ever had was Nanny Haynes taking me to the circus." She gave Travis a serious look " She gave me some good advice that day. She told me that if a man can't be entertaining and a gentleman, then he is not worth your time."

Travis smiled, cocking his brow.

" Of course, she was talking about the clown that helped her into her seat at the time."

That earned a laugh from Travis and Parker giggled back. " I really would like some popcorn," she said " Thinking about the circus made me crave it.

" I'll be right back," Travis smiled as he stood up to go to the concession stand. "Would you care for anything else?" he asked, then took her hand and kissed it briefly. " My lady?" he smiled and looked up at her " See? I can be a gentleman and entertaining too."

" Hmmm...While you're at it, I could use a drink to go with that," she laughed as Travis winked back at her.

" I'll be back in a moment," he said before he turned to leave.  
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Lily and River had gotten to their seats at the same time Travis and Parker had began talking. Lily watched as Travis kissed Parker's hand and then saw the two of them laughing and enjoying one another like no one else in the world existed.

" Have I told you how lovely you look tonight?" River ventured, still taking in Lily's new look and enjoying it.

" Yeah," she answered " Thanks." She stood as she saw Travis leave the theater. " I have to go to the restroom. I'll be back in a minute," she said and left before River has a chance to respond.

" And I'm having a wonderful evening with you too River," he sneered as she walked away.  
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She caught up with him easily as he wasn't very far ahead of her. " Travis," she hissed the second she was within earshot.

He could feel the anger rising but forced it back and turned to face her. " Lily," he said in an even voice.

" How in the hell can you do this?" she snapped. " You're on a date. With one of my friends!"

" And you're on a date with River Pierce," he responded, then turned away from her, not wanting a scene in front of everyone.

" Travis," she repeated and grabbed his arm " I'm here with him beca...,"

" Stop it, Lily," Travis growled in a dangerous tone. " This is not the time nor the place," he said as he jerked his arm away from her.

" Tonight," she said, feeling as if he had just slapped her. " At the station. Be there at 12:00. I have a lot to say to you."

" Don't order me around," he answered, astounded that she thought she had the right to be angry when he was out with a friend while she was with the enemy. " I will meet you there but do not order me around."

" Fine," she pouted " I will see you there." She turned and stalked off, feeling wounded.

Lily took her seat beside River, noting that he was staring straight ahead, not even acknowledging her presence.

She leaned back in her chair and saw Travis walking down the aisle with refreshments for him and Parker. He started to turn her way and she quickly turned to River. " I'm sorry," she said, her hand sliding under his chin to make him turn to her. " I will be a better date the rest of the night," she said quickly before she kissed him. She could taste the mint from his gum and felt his tongue slide over hers. It was all she could do not to cringe. She hadn't had that much experience with kissing but she knew that this was a bad one. _River, you may be perfect in everyone else's eyes, but you certainly can't kiss,_ she thought, _Or maybe it's just the fact that you aren't the one I want to kiss._

Travis looked up to see Lily practically in River's lap and had to steady his hand to keep from dropping the popcorn he was holding. _Bitch,_ he thought. _You know that I am watching you._ He handed Parker the popcorn " As I promised," he said, not able to smile though he wanted to. He tore his eyes away from Lily and River. " I'm a man of my word," he said, this time smiling though it took every once of energy he had.

" I never doubted you for a second," Parker grinned, then the movie began. " Ahhh, food, a movie and a shoulder to lean on," she said as she rested her head on Travis's arm.

Travis was glad that Parker couldn't see his face and hoped that she didn't want to talk about the movie when it was over. He seriously doubted that he would absorb any of it.

River stood before the credits even began to roll. He was tiring of this game and wanted to be alone with Lily. " Where would you like to go now?" he asked after he took her hand and she stood up.

" Actually, I'm feeling kind of tired," she said as she tried to keep from rolling her eyes. " I think I'm ready to call it a night." She gave him a fake yawn and stretched a little.

River took the opportunity to appreciate her form in her silk cami and short skirt. " Come on," he said " The night is still young and I'm sure that I can think of something to keep you awake."

She caught him gaping at her and did roll her eyes. " No, really, I'm ready to home," she said, not caring about niceties anymore.

" Fine," he shrugged as if he could care less " Let's go. _I would have had a better time by myself._  
------------------------

Travis and Parker walk out of the theater, neither saying a word. Parker looked at Travis " Was it something I did?" she asked, quietly.

Travis was still angry and couldn't get the image of Lily and River kissing out of his mind. He looked back at Parker and could feel his heart drop. She was serious and he had never seen her look so sad before.

" I'm sorry, Parker," he said and reached out to touch her arm " No, it's not you. It's definitely not you." He sighed and squeezed her arm gently " I don't have an explanation." _Not a reasonable one anyway._ " Forgive me?" he asked sincerely " I wanted to make you feel better but instead I've ruined your evening."

" No you haven't," she said and covered his hand with hers " I'm fine, it's you that I'm worried about."

" Don't be," he answered, " And I will make this up to you ok?"

" I'll hold you to that," Parker said as they walked toward her house.

She didn't expect a kiss from him when the reached her door and she knew better than to invite him in. She had known him long enough to realize that something was truly bothering him and that he needed time alone. She had a feeling that "something" was Lily Randall. Still, she couldn't be angry with her friend. If Travis had feelings for Lily, then she would just have to live with it.

" Good night Travis," she said as she opened the door. " If you need a friend, you know where to find me ok?"

" Yes I do," he said, his tone serious. He felt relief when the sadness disappeared from her eyes. " And I thank you. Good night Parker," he said then waited for her to close the door before he turned to leave.


	8. Resentment

**A/N: The rest of this story contains strong sexual situations. Please stop reading now if you think you might be offended.**

**To my Lil, and thank you for being my beta!**

She heard him walking down the stairs and felt her pulse quicken. When he opened the door, she folded her arms and glared at him. " I can't believe you," she growled " Why couldn't you have at least picked someone else? Was it that you had to throw it in my face? Make sure that I _knew_ you didn't mean anything that you said to me?"

" Lily," Travis said, his voice low but even " Please don't..."

" Don't what?" she said " Don't worry about it. I just wanted to tell you face to face that I never want to talk to you again. That I can't believe a word you say. That I can't believe in _you._" She folded her arms and paced in front of him " That was low Travis and I would have never expected it from you." She glared at him as she walked to the door " Sorry that your "date" was cut short. I felt that you owed me _this _much," she said as she reached the door.

He pressed his hand firmly against the door, preventing her usual escape. " Are you quite finished?" he asked, his voice calm , but she could hear an edge in it. A tone that she had never heard from him before and it frightened her a little.

" You didn't take my leaving as a cue that I was done?" she quipped as she looked at him, then glanced at the hand that blocked the door. " Well," She paused, trying her best to glare at him, "I _would_ be gone if you would get the hell out of my way."

He smiled as he moved in front of the door. " That's not going to happen. Not right now anyway." He cocked his head to the side and gave her a steely glare " Had it ever crossed your mind that maybe _I_ wasn't finished?"

She didn't know what to say to this and could feel her anger fade away to uncertainty. " What?" she asked, trying to put the bravado back into her voice. " What could you possible have to say now?" She dared to look him in the eye and hoped that he couldn't see the uncertainty in hers.

" You don't get the last word this time Lily," he said as he removed his hand from the door frame and took a step toward her. " You think that you're always in control, don't you? That everyone should cater to your needs as if they don't have any of their own...," he paused as he noted the shudder that ran through her and felt slightly amused. " Or does it not matter to you that others can have any of their own thoughts or feelings that are just as significant as yours?"

Okay, he had her there. Actually, he had her at a physical and emotional pause. She subconsciously bit her bottom lip and flipped her hair back. " Okay, Travis, I'm listening," she said " As if I have a choice," she muttered, looking down.

" You have a choice," he replied " You can choose to hear me out, or you can choose to stand there and ignore me. But," he said, his tone now scolding "You _will_ stand here and listen to what I have to say."

Her eyes traveled back up to his but she said nothing. She didn't know if she was more angry or frightened in the moment. She managed a glare, feeling determined not to show her fear. What she didn't realize, however, was that he had felt her fear the second she had realized that he was not going to allow her to leave.

" I have sat back and tried Lily," he said, all emotional shields now down " I. Have. Tried," he said, measuring each word, ignoring her involuntary jump as he moved in closer to her face. " Does Lily want me today, or does she want Ray? Wait. Maybe she wants someone else entirely. Maybe _she_ doesn't have a clue, but _I_ will always be there for her. Just in case she makes the wrong decision and needs a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe lips to warm her heart," he hissed, moving in and kissing her briefly but harshly.

She was taken a back. Shaken but surprised by the thrill that she felt as his mouth smashed against hers. She could feel the warmth spreading between her legs. She would _not_ show it though. She would not let him think for a second that she is enjoying any of the events unfolding before her.

He pulled back and studied her face. " Did that make you feel better Lily?" he asked coldly " Did you like it?" He didn't give her a chance to answer "No, you didn't. You won't be happy until you've made me cry. You might not see it , but the second you leave, you know inside that I am." He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him " Would it make you happy? Would it ease your pain to cause me some? I think it would, but this time, I will not allow it. Got that? I will not allow you to hurt me so badly that my entire being feels torn apart.

" I never meant," she whispered because she knew that if she had tried to speak, her voice would shake with fear and unshed tears. " I...Travis, I've never tried to hurt you."

" Right," he said back, his lips curved into a smile " You've never taken a morsel of pleasure out of hurting the ones that love you. Pushing them to the limit, just to see how far you can go. Now, you can enjoy the pleasure of knowing the fact that you have pushed _me_ over the edge." He tilted her head back slightly before he lowered his arm from the doorway.

She felt flashes of anger, resentment and then want course through her body as his mouth pressed against hers. She felt his tongue lapping against hers, tasting her, and then it all stopped and he abruptly shoved her away. She had never hated nor wanted anything more in her entire life than him in that moment." Fuck you, Travis," she hissed as she stepped back, then looked away, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he had truly gotten to her.

He felt the warmth of her mouth and body and he felt his responding the second before he pushed her away. _God, she looks beautiful,_ he thought as she stepped back. He felt shame for allowing his emotions to flow this far. He had control. He _had_ control of his emotions damn her to hell. The anger surfaced again as he allowed himself to realize that it wasn't true. How dare she do this to him again. How could she be so heartless?

" I can make you cry," she hissed, as she looked at him with fierce determination. " I can make you beg. Make you wish you had never met me." She was resilient. She would not let her fear control her, nor the pain and desire that had came with it. " You do _not_ touch me. Ever. Not unless you have my permission," she said in a haughty voice, then slapped his face. " Got it?"

He caught her hand, after allowing her to slap him. He knew that he deserved at least that much and hadn't stopped her. Her tone though...Her words. He could feel the fury take over again. " I'm sure that you can," he said, his voice as even as hers. " Could you handle it if I made you cry?" he smiled. " Maybe make _you_ want _me_ until it hurt so badly that you don't believe that you can stand another moment in the same room together with me. Every day, with no end in sight. Knowing that if it were to end, your heart would only break further," he growled, his face now inches from hers.

He watched her, studied her reaction, though he could see that she was trying so hard to hide it. Silly girl, she should know better. " Feel me," he said softly in a voice that could melt the hardest of hearts. So softly this time, so slowly, he pressed his lips to hers. " Feel me," he repeated as his tongue found hers. He could feel her stiffen, then heard the moan escape her mouth. The one that she had been holding back for so long now. He picked her up and gently sat her on the table, sliding his body in between her legs. His hand glided up her back, tangling her hair as his mouth melted into hers.


End file.
